Simply put… The Worst Movie of the Year! And the year’s not even over! Director
Harold Ramis’ (Analyze This, Bedazzled, The Ice Harvest) aimless film
stars Jack Black and Michael Cera as two guys named Zed and Oh, who are forced
out of their primitive tribe and embark on a journey through the early days of
man. I have no idea how any studio executive ever agreed to green light this
project. Every single joke is a gigantic stink bomb! I mean, the kind of bomb
that leveled Japanese cities in the 40s. If you enjoy watching characters hang
upside down and urinate into their own mouths or other characters who eat and
lick poop to determine the food contents in it, then this is the film for you. But
if this is the film for you, maybe you should check yourself into the mental
care facility at ShutterIsland.
GRADE:F
October
13th
The
Proposal (Touchstone)
Sandra Bullock’s highest-grossing movie ever and, for me, that’s
gross. Fashioned shamelessly after The Devil Wears Prada, The Proposal too
is set in the world of publishing. That world is ruled over by the she-beast
Margaret (Bullock), who has to fake an engagement to her lowly assistant,
Andrew (Ryan Reynolds), in order to avoid being deported back to Canada. Director
Annie Fletcher’s movie could have worked if it had just shrugged some of those
pesky romantic comedy devices. Of course, it wouldn’t have made as much money,
so who the hell do I think I am? But, too often, The Proposal tries to
be something it’s not. In the office, it works laboriously to be The Devil
Wears Prada.It’s not even close. In
fact, I daresay the devil wears Fashion Bug. When the film moves to Andrew’s
parents’ house it tries to churn out laughs like Meet The Parents. It
doesn’t.I have heard The Proposal, but
I just cannot accept. GRADE:C
October
13th
Drag
Me to Hell (Universal)
Spiderman director Sam Raimi is no stranger
to horror movies. In fact, with early films like Evil Dead and Evil
Dead 2, that’s how he honed his chops. His latest, Drag Me to Hell, which
stars Alison Lohman as a cursed young woman on the run from the hounds of
Satan, is a loud and in-your-face comedy/thriller. Or, at least it’s supposed
to be.Despite some positives (like
Christopher Young’s pulse-pounding gothic score, a rousing prologue and a
free-for-all séance scene), I don’t know what to make of this. Drag Me to
Hell is never as funny as it’s supposed to be which makes me think it’s not
a comedy.But it’s never scary enough to
sustain my fear and that makes me think it’s not really a thriller. So, I’m
stuck in the middle. I guess this is Drag Me to Purgatory. GRADE:C+
October
20th
Transformers:Revenge of the Fallen (Dreamworks)
It doesn’t matter what I say, this movie has already broken the bank. But
I have a column and I have a duty to my faithful readers to lay it out. Oh,
here goes. This is really stupid. I just don’t get this whole notion of
assigning human emotions and voices to ridiculous-looking machines that are
basically cross-dressers. The fact that the back-story of this film franchise
relies on the belief in two conflicting races of robot known as the Autobots
and the Decepticons is even more bizarre to me. It’s like Terminator meets
Harry and the Hendersons and it goes on for days! I don’t mean to sound
like a Bangle, but this is an “eternal flame” of a film. But, it’s a film that could
have worked. The third act of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is
an all-out war movie with awesome special effects and gritty battle sequences. It’s
the movie Terminator Salvation should have been.If Transformers would knock off all
the silliness, it could truly take Terminator’s place as the true “rage
against the machine.”GRADE: C
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